by: Jamie Rautenberg
If our personal boundaries got violated at some point or repeatedly & intensely enough in our life, we may not learn or understand how to set them when relating with others. This makes us far more likely to engage in unbalanced, and even abusive relationships. We also run the risk of violating the boundaries of others, especially if we’ve been repressing emotions regarding the traumas we’ve experienced.
A good cue that we’ve got some healing to do is if anger arises when another sets a firm boundary and we refuse to accept that, or feel entitled to cross it.
When this happens, emotions are being triggered to show you what already exists within you that has yet to be felt through.
Rather than acknowledge those original hurts, blame is typically projected onto the boundary setter for “making us feel this way”. This is when thoughts of entitlement may occur and demands are made onto others.
What’s really happening in this dynamic is a reminder that we haven’t fully addressed our feelings surrounding the fact that our boundaries were once violated, and we are traumatized by this.
One of the most crucial aspects of trauma recovery is to learn how to set these boundaries and respect the boundaries of those we may relate with.
As someone who has made aspects of their journey public, I often find myself on the receiving end of many demands & projections by people who’ve undergone severe trauma, and hold the firm belief that I must provide them with anything they ask because “they have a right to this information.”
I do not tolerate this kind of behavior.
I’ve decided to share reflections from my journey as a guide & example of how I choose to live, and part of my own recovery involves reinforcing these boundaries.
This video is a personal message and example of reiterating my own personal & professional boundaries.